Open Up (Part 15)

I had a message from a friend somewhat out of the blue the other day. We were briefly catching up. A lot of things have gone down in both our lives, as is inevitable when you leave a long enough gap between conversations. But it was nice to chat. Conversing with them always reminds me of writing here. They didn't even mention this blog, but it made me think. Gosh. I need to get back to this (or rather, I want to get back to this). So here I am. It's been interesting to see how the style of the story has changed over the years that I've been updating this. Maybe it will one day be a bit more cohesive, but I kinda like it this way.

Go ahead and acquaint yourself with part 14 here, or start from the very beginning.

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The session had not lasted as long as she had expected. What does one expect from such a performance, anyway? She asked herself. Not that she really minded the premature end. 

Pondering the pumpkin, Celia grabbed the discarded clothes and shoved them on again, waiting to see if anyone else would turn up for a private show. Although she could choose to log off with what she'd earned from the squash show, she didn't really want to be alone with her thoughts. At least chatting with the customers engaged her brain in some kind of way. Sometimes. 

Sat crossed-legged on her bed, Celia looked at the profiles of the 730 models online. The models highlighted at the top of the page seemed to be drawing a fair crowd at this hour. A lot of the girls also chose to exploit their own niche. Be that their large breasts, sizable butts, marital status, whether or not they had kids, their race, nationality, or age. There were a couple of familiar faces on the screen, those who really put in the work to maintain their spot on the top. The kind that did giveaways and had a green screen and multiple costumes, a whole set-up (that Celia was a little jealous of, if she was honest). However, it was also the new models that tended to be favored -  the newbies who hadn't quite worked out the many tricks of the customers so they could be taken advantage of easily. When Celia first started, there were often customers pretending to be models who just wanted to "show her how it should be done" and offering to take her under their wing if only she would provide a photo or two for them to critique. She hadn't quite figured that one out till too late that they scored nudes from her. She had to learn the ropes of it all fairly quickly. There had been some help along the way.

Celia had found there was a mixture of false niceties and genuine care amongst the models. She was always keen to make a friend. But for the most part, the girls were just there to do their thing and get on with their day. She didn't blame them for that. Other than IcedCoffee - although they had never shared real names, IcedCoffee had been super friendly and offered some advice. Had mentioned that the supposed "models" in her room were actually just trying to get whatever freebie they could. She had told Celia to enjoy it while she could. Looking back, it may have been more of a warning.

A message came through for Celia. 

londonlatino: im Colombian but living in lodnon 
londonlatino: London 

She tapped out a reply. At least she could respond to that one. 

sexycici95: lovely! 

sexycici95: London is cool, do you like it? Where in Colombia are you from?

Not that she had much knowledge of Colombian geography, but Celia thought it'd be nice to ask.

londonlatino: yeah is ok
londonlatino: you look very young
londonlatino: how old r u? would you rather get a creampie gangbang or on your face?

Celia sighed. She couldn't be bothered with it. Why was it so much effort to try and have some semblance of a normal conversation before getting straight into questions like that? 

Why couldn't he have just given her a city name? Maybe she could have given him some recommendations for London, even. 

londonlatino: you like to give head or receive head hmmm?

Celia logged off. Shoved her laptop away. The effort was gone.

The loneliness was still present. 

Open Up (Part 14)

See Chapter 13 here. Or if you want to start from the beginning, read from here. This time, no AI to assist (and it's probably for the best). 

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Celia didn't want to dwell too much on the ominous, "don't trust anyone on here". There were always a lot of creeps. She already knew that. 

A lot of the time she had to dodge messages from customers demanding her attention for free, otherwise they'd threaten to find her on her personal social media. She had to just block them. Move on. That's just the way it was.

She couldn't help but feel the timing was a little weird, though. 

A message appeared in the private chat.

blur23: 1200... hmm... you playing hard to get? ;) 

sexycici95: Are you interested? x

Celia needed to change her clothes. She hadn't exactly been in her sexiest attire, even when she'd specifically gone out seeking... well. She grabbed a blue bra and thong and rushed to put them on. She then put her grey jumper back on. She would need to remove some layers to make the session last, after all. 

blur23: I think I might be ;) can you put your hair in pigtails ? 

sexycici95: of course! let's get started shall we? 

Celia grabbed two hairbands and scraped her hair into pigtails. She glanced at herself in the webcam and grimaced. But it would do.

blur23: I'm already so stiff for you ;) call me sir x

sexycici95: I was hoping you were... sir ;) x

She couldn't really tell how stiff (or not) he was. He wasn't joking about the pumpkin. Although, she hadn't exactly doubted him, given what she'd witnessed from past experiences on the site. There was a rather crudely cut-out hole. He could really work on his knife skills, Celia thought. It looked like it would... hurt. 

blur23: can you stand up for me? I want to see that cute body of yours

Celia stood, her arms curved above her head. She did a slow twirl, bent down, and smiled at the camera. She lifted her jumper just a little, teasing him.

blur23: you are so special ;) 

He looked like he was enjoying himself. There was a lot of movement. Luckily, the camera wasn't really picking up on his individual thrusts. 

sexycici95: does that feel good, hmm? ;) x

blur23: take your jumper off now ;) 

Celia lifted the jumper slowly whilst facing the camera, just enough to show her bra. She then turned round to give him a view of her behind. She always got compliments on her bum. She slapped it, gently. Facing the camera once again, she pulled the jumper off and threw it next to her bed. Her hands trailed across her stomach, reaching to cup her breasts. 

blur23: Can you remove the bra? 

Trying to be sexy whilst also typing was always awkward, so she spoke. Celia kept his sound muted. She didn't particularly want to hear the squelches for the moment. 

"I will... keep watching!"

She dropped one strap and looked at the camera. She smiled. She slowly dropped the other strap. Celia unhooked the bra. Her hands replaced the cups and she squeezed her breasts, making sure to look directly at the webcam whilst doing so.

He seemed to be enjoying it a fair amount. His camera angle had changed, perhaps he had wanted her to get a better view? But she wasn't quite sure where pumpkin began and penis stopped. She turned the sound on to try to understand a bit better. 

He grunted, "You look so good... ummmmgh". 

Celia laid back on her bed, with her head propped up on her pillows. One hand continued to caress her breast whilst the other drifted towards her underwear. She thought about other things as her fingers dipped between her legs. 

The private session has ended. The message blinked on the screen. 

Damn it. 

She was kinda curious about how the pumpkin had fared. Now she would never know.

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Advice I'd Give To A Younger Me (9ish Years On).

I'm now 28. So here comes an update. 

View the original here (when I was nearly 19) and the following advice (when I was nearly 22) and then my advice from there on (when I was 25).

I've wanted to write this post for a while. It's been difficult to start typing every single time. 

It's hard. 

It's really hard. 

The past few years have been sad. Incredibly so. More than words can contain. And yet! There has been so much pure joy. You're here. And managed it. Not particularly well. But you're still here. I'm proud of you! Please keep going. 

Let's look over our advice, eh? 

That little glimpse of COVID you experienced? It doesn't truly get better, not for a while, then when you think things are kinda over the peak - 

Your father dies from it. 

Your entire family will decrease by half. 

You will travel to Portugal and teach in the best place you've ever known. You find glorious, wonderful people there. They are good. So very good. In amongst living with people who are definitely not quite so good. Your grief is made both better and yet more difficult knowing you are in such a lovely place, but feeling so honestly terrible. 

You should've started therapy far sooner than you have (I know you tried that once, it doesn't count, you are doing so much better knowing you are with a good therapist). 

I believe in you so much. At least right now. You need to believe in yourself all the time. 

The advice this time shall go:

Drink more water. Well, this one hasn't changed. You could still learn from this. Please do. More water, less everything else.

25-year-old-me: Again, this one is still very relevant, continue drinking water. You at least have the water bottle to do so sufficiently, now. 

28-year-old-me: This is honestly the most important. Do this.

Learn. Just continue to learn. You still don't have the musical nor linguistic aptitude for any instrument or language. Don't dwell on it too much. Learn about things you do care about. Although you are trying to learn French now. But try harder with that one, please.

25-year-old-me: You did learn a little more French, but then you also went on to learn more about other things that intrigued you, so I'll give you that. Strive for such a thing continuously, though. Never stop your want to learn.

28-year-old-me: So, you've returned to Duolingo, eh? Do you think that will help? I hope so. It IS good so far.

Remember that not everyone is looking at you, or cares what you're doing. Still relevant. Stop worrying so much. And even if there are some people looking and caring about what you're doing... you know why? It's because they care. They want what's best for you.

25-year-old-me: You were very correct with this. Keep it in mind. 

28-year-old-me: Goodness. It really does not matter. Interesting how you'll take certain things on board, but honestly. Do you.

Don't regret dyeing your hair in random colours. However. Just know, green really doesn't come out. Like, ever. Ever. Also, don't worry that the thing you applied for didn't work out. It was an interesting experience. Take that and go with it.

25-year-old-me: You will dye your hair blonde during lockdown and although at first - you will regret the stripes - you will, in fact, enjoy it, and maybe you'll go back to another colour, but yes. Still don't regret such silly things. You will have few regrets from the past years but know that you can always be a more relaxed driver.

28-year-old-me: You will still find some dread in terms of dying hair. You will not continue past COVID. Your hair is healthier, but, you want to do more with it. It's not a bad thing that you've dyed it. It will make you think about hair colour long-term, though. But be warned, dry shampoo will get to your hair. 

Do enjoy the fact you're no longer a person who has to always get ready if you don't plan on leaving the house. It's okay to not put on jeans. You're unsure why you never enjoyed the luxury of sweatpants before. Embrace it. Also, do go swimming more. You miss it. So just do it. 

25-year-old-me: This year was good for swimming, in the first few months, anyway. Otherwise, you have most certainly embraced the non-jean lifestyle, when it is the time and place to, so congrats. I would say, you do need to look out for those who don't have your best interests at heart. It's okay to lose people who don't belong in your life. 

28-year-old-me: You shower when needed. That's good. Think about everything else.

Appreciate the time you have at university. It goes really fucking quick. Appreciate that things turn out well, eventually. Appreciate that you will eventually know what you're going to write your dissertation about, and you will, at some point, be able to read it back. Maybe even appreciate the house fire and how it made you think just how little time you had left to complete your work and made you get shit done. Silver linings and all that.

25-year-old-me: You did a fine job of the uni thing. Feel good about it. You then had that spell of not knowing. That's okay too. You found your thing, for a bit. Continue to work and think about the next step. You'll never know when you can't actively enjoy such things. Pandemic or not. Appreciate the friends you have gained throughout these years, and perhaps, even more, the friendships you've retained. They're the real ones. 

28-year-old-me: You always said to appreciate time with loved ones and you will regret the fact you didn't get to have end moments with them. You will appreciate the new, lovely friendships you've made from being in new places. And the random friendships along the way. 

Try not to get too scared about the future. You should really keep this one in mind still. It sucks that you have little idea about what the future holds. You find a way, eventually. Things go well for you academically. You're gonna do some fun things. You're also going to struggle to find a sense of purpose. It sort of comes to you. Try not to worry if you change your mind. Try to stop making bad decisions, but move and learn from them when you do. It's the only way you can.

25-year-old-me: I had some good advice, there. You are going to have trouble sleeping with the worry of it all. You will worry about a lot of things. You are still lucky enough to be surrounded by loved ones, and people who support you. You will learn new skills (of the DIY, entire house renovation variety, and y'know, that will be a good thing). Amongst a heap of other bits.

28-year-old-me: You then had the fun of clearing your childhood home out after losing loved ones. You're lucky you had people to help you. You will still have issues sleeping. But that actually gets better, for the most part. For now, try to aim for something you truly want in terms of your career. You're getting there. You will do this, even if it's not anything you could have imagined from your past experiences. It's been a learning curve. A thing to remember: try not to get caught at the Zambian border again.

Hindsight is still a wonderful thing. Catch me here in another few years. 

It's gonna be a ride. 

You did get that new laptop, at least. 

Here's to You

I miss you. You would have been 70 today. There are so many things I want to talk to you about. I wish I could still chat with you in the conservatory. And get phone calls about buying even more grow bags and compost for you. Or talking about music or the birds in the garden. 

I miss it all. 

It's not right that you're not here. 

I love you. 

Open Up - AI Style

People want what the people want. And for you guys, that's more of my series Open Up. If you haven't read it, see here!

However, this chapter will be a little bit different. I'm giving the power over to AI. See what it thinks would make a suitable next chapter (I made it create Chapter 14, see Chapter 13 here). 

(Maybe it will give me some inspiration).

So, I share with you the chapter from two of the AI generators I used, in response to providing it with the last two chapters of this series. I requested that the AI generate another piece of text that followed the general story and themes of Open Up. 

(Warning, it doesn't give much in the way of inspiring content, who'd have guessed, eh?). 

Anyway - let's give our first AI a shot at continuing this wonderful tale: 

Celia had to smile, she couldn't help it. She knew the advice was well-meaning but also a little naive. It would take more than that to protect her on this site. sexycici95: Thanks for the advice! I'm careful, don't worry ;) With one last glance at Damian's message, Celia decided to log off and go to bed. Maybe tomorrow she'd be able to think more clearly about what he wanted from her - and if she should accept his offer of a present... The next morning, Celia awoke with a start. She had been dreaming of Damian and his mysterious present. Could it really be true? It was too good to be true! She groggily checked her phone and saw that she had two new messages in her inbox - one from Benbourbon57 confirming their show for later today and another from Damian86 saying he'd like to meet up soon. Celia couldn't believe it! He wanted to see her after all this time... But what did he mean by 'present'? What could it possibly be? And why now? Her heart raced as she replied: sexycici95: I'd love to see you soon :) When do you have in mind? Celia waited for his response, her heart pounding. She still couldn't believe it - Damian was actually going to meet her! What did he have planned? She was both excited and nervous at the same time. Finally, her phone beeped and she opened the message eagerly. Damian86: How about tomorrow? I have something special planned for you ;) Celia couldn't believe her eyes! Could it be true? She had waited so long for this moment, and now it was finally happening. She quickly replied with a yes and they arranged to meet at a nearby park the next day. The rest of the day passed in a blur as Celia prepared for her meeting with Damian. What did he have planned? Was she ready for whatever surprise he had in store? She couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive, but she was also excited to finally see him after all this time. The next day arrived and Celia nervously made her way to the park. She spotted Damian right away - he looked exactly as she remembered him, with his dark hair and bright smile that lit up his face when he saw her. He ran over and embraced her in a warm hug before leading her off towards a picnic blanket spread out on the grass nearby. He pulled out a small box from his pocket and handed it to Celia with a grin. "Open it," he said softly, watching intently as she opened the lid to find an antique pendant necklace inside - one that matched perfectly with the one that her grandmother had given her when she was a child. Celia gasped in surprise, tears springing to her eyes as she looked up at Damian in wonder. "It's beautiful," she whispered, overcome with emotion. She couldn't believe he had managed to find something so special for her - it meant so much more than any material gift could ever mean. Damian smiled and pulled Celia into another hug before leading them over to the picnic blanket where they sat down together and enjoyed a lovely meal of sandwiches, fruit and cupcakes while talking about their lives since they last saw each other. It felt like no time had passed between them at all - it was almost as if they'd never been apart.

As the sun began to set, Celia and Damian walked hand in hand back towards her car, both of them feeling happy and content. Before she left, Damian leaned in for one last kiss - a sweet promise that this was only the beginning of something special between them.

 

So, our first AI clearly provided a romantic spin on this ol' tale. Quite sickening with the picnic of fruit and cupcakes, don't you think? And I'm also really loving the addition of Grandmother and her antique pendant into the mix. Smooth, very smooth. Despite it being at least grammatically and semantically sound, I don't think it truly captured the essence of the characters. 

Thus, not really satisfied with the first take on the next chapter, I tried another AI to see if it would get the vibe a little more. And, well. I'll let you be the judge: 

This time, she recognised the name. However, she immediately came to the conclusion that he was full of crap. Surely there would be a minimum of 6 chicks on a site called 'dames'. She'd looked at dozens of chicks on sites before. She even had a best friend who had a thing for strong-arm babes. So she'd written him off as a fake. She'd known to be careful. She should have known.

Funbrosky: Come over and let's see if you're wrong, I dare ya. ;)

Celia hesitated, but deleted the message and looked around her room again. As a perverse control freak, she didn't want to feel as if she was being controlled. Besides, she couldn't show him any of her naughty bits yet. Not that she had any, anyway. She was only well along the way in her transition. But maybe she'd gone too far in case she didn't feel comfortable with him. It was hard to tell sometimes. It was almost like being in love for the first time. She'd never done that before, at least not with a real person. Yet. It was kind of nice. Was she growing fond of Damian?

Not really. That'd be stupid. But she'd be lying if she didn't think he was just...good to look at. In a more positive light, of course. He was only a hairdresser and looked a bit of a dork at times, but he was good company at others. Well, that's what she had said.

She didn't want to risk finding out he was as great to speak to in person as he was over the site.

Funbrosky: A bit slow with the online stuff huh? ;) be honest, would you really be interested in seeing me? ;) I have everything I'd need ;)  let me know. ;) :)

Celia knew she could never meet up with him, but he wasn't exactly a liar. Although she wasn't sure she could trust the replies to anything he said. But she needed more to work with. He could maybe help her with something. He could show her what she would have to do to transform.

She finished her last game of left-handed Far Cry and got up to get ready.

Damian: Hey Celia, what's up?

She replied that she was fine and busy. She tried to make it sound vague and uninformative.

Damian: As you say, busy. Have you thought of what you could do with that Jack in the Box character you started?

Celia laughed. She was starting to suspect Damian was aware of her humour. She had to choose between two responses. She couldn't come up with anything earth-shattering to say. So she said the first thing that came into her head.

sexycici95: You think he's sexy? XD

She thought about using the 'oh he's such a retard' word but she felt she didn't want to go down that route.

Funbrosky: I have another way. Come over now.

Celia was laughing to herself. It sounded so strange. She couldn't help it. She tried to resist the temptation, but it was too strong.

Celia: Where? x

He replied as if he knew. He knew where she lived and which room she was in. So it was relatively easy for her to tell him.

Celia: Just come up to my room. ;) it's the one on the right at the top. :)

She watched him slowly float to her bedroom. He was quite the sexy figure, he'd do for sure.

Damian: Lol yeah! You've already seen the thing

funbrosky: How do you know I haven't? ;)

In one of his posts, he'd said he had proof of being a girl inside the same computer as him. Celia suspected he was using some kind of internet-based magic. He had probably been looking at her earlier. She was a beautiful woman. At least, she felt she was. She didn't mind admitting that. 

This AI just really went off-piste with... whatever you can call this chapter. I lost it at 'watched him slowly float to her bedroom'. 

It was quite something to read this AI and it's attempt at continuing the chapter. I'm really not sure it understood the different characters, at all. But, I guess it would've done better had I fed it more from previous chapters. 

I certainly do not take any credit for the language the AI chose to use in this one. Really quite something. And to just really give a twist with some gaming references, and a random transition too? Okay, sure. 

Much as it was fun to take a glimpse into what the AI believes could come next, think it is safe to say that human writers jobs aren't truly threatened. Although the technology is only improving. So.

Maybe watch this space. 

Thanks for reading, gang. And maybe I'll get writing the real next chapter soon. Minus... floating into bedrooms. 

P.S. Because the second AI really did provide some gold, here is how the story continued: 

Suddenly, her door flew open and in walked Damian. He was completely naked. He'd even taken off his socks and shoes. She couldn't believe her eyes. He wasn't big or anything, but he was extremely sexy. He still had the Jack in the Box uniform on. His face was even beautiful, even if it was a bit burnt from the campfire. And his body was divine.

The only imperfection was his penis, which looked a bit smaller than she'd been imagining. He wasn't small, of course. That would be ridiculous. But she hadn't realised he was so big. She hadn't wanted to look at it, as if she were staring at her son's genitalia.

She looked away quickly. She didn't want him to think she was interested in him that way.

He'd probably think she'd never seen a penis before. She'd have to tell him the truth about her past, once he'd given her the spell.

Damian: Hey, it's okay. I won't judge you. Lol!

The next thing she felt was a tickling sensation on her leg. She looked down, and in his hand, he had a pair of tights.

Funbrosky: Haha, that's nice. :) Let me have some of yours. ;)

He handed her a pair of his tights, which she'd had to take off.

 

I am truly astounded by the leaps made here. Naked? But still with a full uniform on? The small but also big penis? The incest? Really quite something.