I remember once back in primary school, all the boys were playing "Army" or whatever they used to call it. I asked if I could join in, cause, y'know, they looked like they were enjoying themselves - and I was bored of whatever playground antics everyone else was getting up to (mainly playing with bits of string a certain dinner lady used to cut up for us... as was our deprived childhood). So I go up to them, asking "Can I please play too?".
But it wasn't as easy as that. Of course not. I was a girl. I couldn't invade in their boy fun, no way could I be a soldier. The only way I could possibly join in was to be the nurse.
Whilst the boys ran around crazily shooting one other with an assortment of imaginary arms - all the nurse had to do was stand about - occasionally dishing out a miraculous cure to the afflicted like a playground Jesus. I couldn't run about, pretending to shoot people like they were, because oh no, wielding even an imaginary gun would be too much for a girl like me.
But I didn't do anything about it. I don't know why. I clearly wasn't destined to dabble in the world of female rights activism. I accepted it. It wasn't all bad, I mean, I did find pleasure in refusing to treat some of my 'patients'. I guess really if you want something, then you have to ask, or at least question decisions that are made. You're never going to get anything if you don't at least try. If you don't ask, the answer will always be no. So yeah, I should have said something. It's a skill I'm still working on to this day. I shall get there. Eventually.
S'pose till then, I have some string to play with.
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