She'd been to the flat before. But that had been a long time ago. The walls were still the same dirty cream that she remembered, and inside, the flat smelt even more like Dettol. The furnishings remained in the same place, apart from a new lamp that stood awkwardly in the corner of the room, casting an orange glow on the people who sat slouched upon the sofa. They were all here. The gang.
How long had it been? Three years? She recalled the summer evenings they'd spent here, getting drunk and high and not caring about anything other than what was happening inside of the four walls that surrounded them. They had cocooned themselves in teenage lust and angst and self-loathing. Their nights had been fueled with secrets and sweat. They had all been so full of themselves, certain that they could take on the world. They had been young and made of idealistic fantasies. Yeah, she missed those times. Look at them now. None of them had really grown up, they had all just learnt how to pretend to be adult. Underneath they were the same lost teens. She wondered when they had stopped having fun.
Paul came from the tiny kitchen area with a glass in his hand, "Red or white, Caroline?" he asked her, gesturing to the glass. When did Paul ever have wine in the flat? Their beverages of choice used to be cider and cheap vodka. "Um, red. Please. Thanks". Paul returned to the kitchen. From the sofa, Sarah motioned for Caroline to join her, so she sat uncomfortably perched on the edge. The long-haired man at the other end of the sofa looked at her. Rob hadn't really changed. His hair a dirty blonde, his eyes a pale grey. The things they had done. Fuck. Everything had been so easy back then.
Returning with her wine, Paul sat clumsily between them. Caroline felt bad. Why had she decided to come? For old times sake? Nothing was the same now.
"So, how's Sam been?" Paul questioned, looking to Caroline. She hadn't even realised they knew about Sam. But she guessed their antics had a way of revealing themselves. "Good, yeah. Great. Thanks". Her smile didn't fool anyone. Although they chose to ignore it. Caroline turned towards Paul, "What about you? Has nobody piqued your interest?". He shook his head, his messy black hair falling over his right eye. Caroline couldn't help but see the seventeen year old she had once known stare back at her. He was still quite cute. Caroline took a sip of wine. Maybe the smell of Dettol was starting to grow on her.
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