Life currently has consisted very much of Attempting Productivity But Failing Miserably
™. And to be honest, that's okay. These things happen. It's just brought about a lot of time for contemplation and general life... thoughts.
One such thought led me back to a small something I'd written on here a few years ago. It consisted of a bit of advice I'd have given to my younger self, given the opportunity. Now, that's all fine and dandy, but time has elapsed since then. I have much more wisdom to bestow now. Sort of.
So now, three years on, I thought I'd take the opportunity to dwell on the activities that have occurred since and offer some updated advice to 18-year-old me.
Drink more water. Well, this one hasn't changed. You could still learn from this. Please do. More water, less everything else.
Learn. Just continue to learn. You still don't have the musical nor linguistic aptitude for any instrument or language. Don't dwell on it too much. Learn about things you do care about. Although you are trying to learn french now. But try harder with that one, please.
Remember that not everyone is looking at you, or cares what you're doing. Still relevant. Stop worrying so much. And even if there
are some people looking and caring about what you're doing... Do you know why? It's because they care. They want what's best for you.
Don't regret dyeing your hair random colours. However. Just know, green really doesn't come out. Like, ever. Ever. Also, don't worry that the thing you applied for didn't work out. It was an interesting experience. Take that and go with it.
Do enjoy the fact you're no longer a person who has to always get ready if you don't plan on leaving the house. It's okay to not put on jeans. You're unsure why you never enjoyed the luxury of sweatpants before. Embrace it. Also, do go swimming more. You miss it. So just do it.
Appreciate the time you have at university. It goes really fucking quick. Appreciate that things turn out well, eventually. Appreciate that you will eventually know what you're going to write your dissertation about, and you will, at some point, be able to read it back. Maybe even appreciate the house fire and how it made you think just how little time you had left to complete your work and made you get shit done. Silver linings and all that.
Try not to get too scared about the future. You should really keep this one in mind still. It sucks that you have little idea about what the future holds. You find a way, eventually. Things go well for you academically. You're gonna do some fun things. You're also going to struggle to find a sense of purpose. It sort of comes to you. Try not to worry if you change your mind. Try to stop making bad decisions, but move and learn from them when you do. It's the only way you can.
You see, hindsight is a wonderful thing... or so they say. Maybe I'll come back to this as 24-year-old Joanne and see what she has to say about all this. Until then.
