Life in Fiction (Part 3)

Read the second part here: Life in Fiction (Part 2)

"Ah, of course, of course". The Answer replied, a small grin forming on his weathered face. "I don't wish to keep you from your travels, though...". Kath quickly shook her head, deciding already that today probably wasn't going to be like any other day. It's not like she had anywhere she needed to be. "I want to listen" she told him.

"Allow me to begin then, but not from the start, we shall, instead, embark from the very end of my story." He began, moving the cane once more. He continued, "For instance, this morning I awoke to find a seagull in my bed." Kath, although a little surprised at the remark, instead wondered about the irregular structuring of his tale, she nodded to herself, and decided she liked this man, whoever he was. "Now, this isn't the first time I've awoken to find a feathered friend in bed, and I can assure you, it can get messy." he gathered a scrap of paper, and plucking a pen from his inside pocket, began to draw roughly.

Kath gazed upon the sketch The Answer had created, somewhat questioning his mental capacities at this point. Although given that she'd already agreed to listen, Kath didn't particularly mind. And plus, even if it did turn out he wasn't quite all there, she was having more fun since, well, since she could recall. "Do you draw all your birds like that?" she questioned, smiling. "I've had some fun with birds, certainly, but I have yet to reach the point of my story, dear Kath." He looked at her. "No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings. Do you know who said that?" He carried on, not waiting for Kath to answer, "William Blake, but I bet he never woke up to a seagull in his bed. Then he'd be wondering what they do with their wings..."

Part 4

The Adult Years

So, I finally reached the dandy old age of 18.

Seems pretty good so far, like, I'm quite enjoying the being able to legally drink. Tried the whole clubbing thing, that was interesting. Good, yeah, I liked it a lot. 9/10 would recommend.

I just want to say thank you to my friends, family and partner for making it a truly great experience. I've received the warmest wishes, heartfelt messages, interesting presents and excellent wrapping skills to commemorate the day I fled the womb.

Thank you people, without you, my birthday would not have been the delight it was. I am so very happy.

Life in Fiction (Part 2)

If you haven't, read the first part here- or y'know, you don't have to, please don't feel obliged.

"And you definitely don't want me to touch you in anyway at all?" she asked, blurting it out before she had really thought about what she was saying. The old man's eyes crinkled, smiling as he told her, "Ah, the youth of today, so cynical, so full of fear..." he stopped, adjusted his cane, and carried on, noting the perplexed look on her face "But don't you worry, there will be none of that involved. Anyway, if I wanted any of that lark, I could just go home for it." Then he winked, looking back at her, "So, what's your name anyway?".

"I'm Kath, and yourself?". He waved his hand in her direction, "Time shall tell, time shall tell" he muttered, looking ahead, to where the bus was turning down, going past the local swimming pool. "Well, can I call you something? Because right now I'm referring to you as 'Creepy Paedo Millionaire Man' in my head, and that doesn't seem appropriate" she asked the man sitting next to her, this man who smelt of mint and tobacco. He continued to stare ahead. "You may refer to me as The Answer, Kath, for I know you have many questions".

That confused her, she hadn't been expecting that answer, let alone "The Answer". To her, it was just like something out of a book. That, at least, was something she could deal with. She could cope with a life in fiction.

However, The Answer was altogether more real, and was sat beside her on a bus driving to a destination she wasn't quite sure of any more. She thought about it like a metaphor of her life, this journey could potentially take her anywhere. But would she allow it? She turned to The Answer.

 "So, um, weren't you going to tell me a story...?".

Part 3

Post Valentine's

If you wanted to get a bit more information on my previous meanderings with la internet, take a look at this: The Quest For A Soulmate Continues

There's yet another "Free Communication Weekend" thing going on. It's quite fun to see the kind of people that flock to the internet in search for love (Admittedly, I have nothing against it) and with it being that time of year, there was many a request for some lovin'. I have around 704 matches now.

And so, Joanne gets up to more mischief, and she shall share more of her online antics with you: 

To start with, just take a look at these beautiful "Must Haves" you could potentially list for a partner. "Emotionally Generous" yeah, sounds great... 

I then answered a few of the questions that I'd been sent, I managed to have accumulated quite a few, but that's probably because I only answer these when it's actually free to do so. I think I'm quite the catch, if I'm honest, I mean, just how could you resist this?

Having answered those, I then went on to answer a few more, but they were getting a little repetitive. I think anyone receiving my answers would at least be amused... Like Daniel, for example:

A genuine fear of mine.

Then again, until I actually receive a response... who knows.  And just to finish: 

Now that's an adventure.

(But, y'know, just to note, this girl ain't lookin' for love, she's found it.)

Next Seasons Stock.

Together like,
an overripe fruit,
but not an orange
because that's not cute,
and nothing rhymes with orange.

And just too sweet,
sickeningly so,
try next seasons stock
better be quick, though
an offer you can't refuse.

Or maybe so,
an acquired taste,
of flesh so soft,
shame to go to waste,
why don't you just enjoy it.

And time will pass,
your use by date,
fast approaching,
maybe just a little bite.

Life in Fiction (Part 1)

She sat on the bus, suddenly overwhelmed by the nothingness that had so often visited her at times like this. It wasn't scary. In fact the nothing brought a sense of comfort. It allowed her to distance herself from the world. She looked out at the passing streets, at the people. It was weird thinking they all had their individual stories, people with their own thoughts and feelings. It was something she enjoyed doing, imagining the lives of others. She would sit and watch the world pass her by, happily living in a world of fiction.

The man who stood on the edge of the road with his two spaniels, she imagined had problems sleeping, enjoyed playing Scrabble and had a drink problem. The woman holding her blonde hair to prevent it flying about too much in the wind, well, she was an identical twin, but her twin was far more successful than her, and lived with a man ten years her junior in Australia. The little boy who appeared to have been swallowed by his backpack was actually a child prodigy and had mastered Latin by the age of seven. These were all the mini stories she told herself as she watched the world unfold in front of her, a spectator to the game of life.

You can't remain encompassed in the realm of fiction, though. She had to step out into the real world. The bus slowed to a halt at its stop in the middle of town, where a majority of people got off, a myriad of yelling school children and dazed looking tracksuit-clad adults. That's when he got on. 

He sauntered onto the bus, with a cane in his left hand, tapping on the side of each chair as he slowly edged his way up the aisle. The clack of his alligator shoes combined with his cane and disjointed whistling made a melody of old man. Even as the bus pulled out from the stop, he never faltered with his elderly grace. His eyes seemed to dance about the bus, his choice in seat like a game show, his very presence the prize. After contemplating his decision for a brief moment, the man positioned himself in the space next to her. He sat with his back straight, his blue eyes pale with age focused on the road ahead. They sat like that for a few minutes, her slumped next to the window, him upright, his eyes looking straight ahead in an unwavering stare. 

He turned to her quickly, and quietly said "let me tell you a story", whilst unwrapping a packet of polos from his pocket. He offered her one. She accepted, trying to suppress the instinctive thought that taking sweets from strangers may not be a good idea from her mind. She imagined him a war veteran, or possibly a secret millionaire who revealed their fortunes to the unsuspecting on various bus journeys. 

"It might not be a very interesting story" he began, swapping the cane to his right hand, "but I believe it can help you." he looked at her, "Although I would like you to do one thing for me first." his eyes settled back to the front of the bus. She immediately assumed it would be some creepy sexual gratification the old man would be wanting. She didn't reply, just nodded towards this man with the alligator shoes who smelt of a combination of mint and tobacco. 

"You must, for the benefit of my story, assume that nothing is quite what it seems, although I promise what I tell you is all very much true." He looked back at her, "Could you do that for me?"

Part 2

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Today.

Today. Today, it is a year since my Grandad Ken passed away.

It’s really weird to think how things have changed in the past year. How weird to think about what’s going to change in the next few months. Pivotal moments in your life occur, for me, the deciding of educational establishments, just what the hell you want to do with the rest of your life. 

It’s really quite scary. And I miss my Grandad. Sometimes there are times when I know he’d be interested in a certain television programme or something and I’d want to talk to him about it with him but, yeah. He was wonderful, he truly was.

Time passes, you start to think more and more about other things, you occupy yourself with work, or friends, distractions. I sometimes get scared of the passing of time because it delivers the inevitable. Witnessing the ageing process of family members frightens me.

It’s scary getting older, but I also find it really exciting. You don’t know what to expect, so I tend to just take it as it comes. I try to live in the moment. I don’t want to dwell too much on the future when I don’t know what’s going to happen even in the next minute. I am however, very lucky to be surrounded by some of the most amazing people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I'm appreciative of that.

You would have loved watching "Wonders of Life", Grandad.